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"I became a feminist as an alternative to becoming a masochist." Sally Kempton
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Member Since: 1/2009Last Seen: 2/09/2010

Priest Shortage Forces Vatican To Hire Temps To Deliver Sacred Rites (satire)

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"The reduced number of active diocesan clergy has forced us to take unprecedented measures to stop parishes from closing," Pope Benedict XVI explained in a decree issued Saturday by the Vatican. "That is why, for the first time in two millennia, we're allowing pretty much anyone who is willing to show up at 9 a.m. and work for slightly more than minimum wage to act as a Vessel of Christ."

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{"commentId":10247026,"authorDomain":"An-uncommon-scold"}
"I was a little intimidated on my first day because I had no idea what I was supposed to do during communion," said Nelson, referring to the transubstantiation of the Holy Eucharist, a miracle he is expected to perform at each mass in order to transform earthly bread and wine into the Most Precious Body and Blood of Christ. "But basically I just have to pour some watered-down cabernet into the gold cup, wave my arms around, say some stuff about God, and give each person in line one of those wafer things."
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  • 1 vote
Reply#1 - Fri Oct 23, 2009 12:16 PM EDT
{"commentId":10251415,"authorDomain":"sheaster"}

GD freakin' hilarious!

{"commentId":10251415,"threadId":"708130","contentId":"3416423","authorDomain":"sheaster"}
  • 1 vote
Reply#2 - Fri Oct 23, 2009 3:36 PM EDT
{"commentId":10252683,"authorDomain":"An-uncommon-scold"}

Thought you'd like it. LOL

{"commentId":10252683,"threadId":"708130","contentId":"3416423","authorDomain":"An-uncommon-scold"}
  • 1 vote
#2.1 - Fri Oct 23, 2009 4:36 PM EDT
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