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One piece of fallout from our taboo against talking about death is that we don't effectively prepare our children to deal with death. They are much more aware of death than we realize and need our support in developing a healthy understanding.
12 Ways to Help Children Understand Death
Seeded on Tue Jun 29, 2010 8:33 AM EDT
Article Source: The Huffington Post- Enjoy this article? Help vote it up the 'Vine.
- Public Discussion (5)
While age determines to some extent how a child will respond to the death of a loved one, each child has a unique journey of learning about death. Apply the guidelines listed below with sensitivity to the child's individual level of development, environment, ethnic, religious and cultural background and their exposure or lack thereof to the reality of death. Regardless of religious beliefs, death is about loss and children need our help to accept loss and to grieve.
- 1 vote
#1 - Tue Jun 29, 2010 8:33 AM EDTFor about 20yrs, instead of flowers or a card, I've sent a children's book -- originally intended for the children but was just as healing for adults. It's The Fall of Freddie the Leaf by Leo Buscaglia, his only children's book.
It tells the life story of Freddie, his mentor Daniel, about purpose in life (like providing shade for the old people who came to the park), about letting go when winter leaves drop. It's always been appreciated by their children, because it's not "adult talk."
- 4 votes
That is a great book. It was also made into a film short. Thanks for reminding me about it. I love the idea of sending it instead of flowers. That's what I'm going to do in the future.
- 2 votes
Regardless of religious beliefs, death is about loss and children need our help to accept loss and to grieve.
Thank you for the article which makes some good points about dealing with death. That said...it seems to down play spiritual beliefs which are absolutely critical in the way we handle, and explain to our children...what death is all about...why there is death, and how to cope with it. One who believes in an eternal afterlife and soul, is not going to explain the loss of a loved one in the same way as one who believes this earthly life is the end of all.
In our church we have no traditional funerals. There are no mourners dressed in black, weeping and lamenting the loss of beloved family members and friends. Do we grieve and miss them? Absolutely! As the article pointed out, all of us must go through a difficult time of adjustment and a grieving process. It's a time where we must love, support, and faithfully comfort each other. Instead of traditional funerals, we have a "celebration of life" to honor our passed brothers and sisters. We are secure in our belief that they are now in a better place, where there will be no more tears, pain, or sorrow. They are now in the presence of their Lord and Creator. We know that one day we will be reunited with them eternally, and that this earthly life is just a stepping stone to the everlasting life God predestined us to enjoy..:)
- 2 votes
#2 - Tue Jun 29, 2010 1:41 PM EDTI think he left out spiritual beliefs because everyone's spiritual beliefs are different, and he wanted everyone to be able to adapt his thoughts to their lives.
I like the idea of celebrating their passage to another realm. I've long recognized our grief is for ourselves and our loss of their presence. This can happen in many situations, not just death. It is hard for someone we love to transition out of our life no matter how it happens.
- 3 votes
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