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Topic:
Cancer
Wednesday, Jul 21, 2010 19:48 ET
Broadsheet Bald women: So hot right now
I'm finding it hard to raise a fist for this silly trend piece while my mother goes through the pain of chemo
By Tracy Clark-Flory
iStockphotoAn e-mail landed in my in box today that linked to a lightweight trend story about how female baldness is in right now. If only I had a darker sense of humor, I would have forwarded the link to my mom. She started chemo yesterday.
Bald women: So hot right now
Seeded on Thu Jul 22, 2010 8:56 AM EDT
Article Source: Salon.com- Enjoy this article? Help vote it up the 'Vine.
- Public Discussion (6)
The AolNews article quotes "fashion expert" Toni Love, a cosmetologist and certified barber: "For some, going bald is for fashion, and for others it is medical. Many people lose their hair due to chemotherapy, radiation and other medical conditions, so there is an advantage to these patients who are suffering because, with this new trend, they fit in, not being self-conscious of their looks." How convenient! Your chemo-induced hair loss will blend right in -- no need to worry about wigs or scarves. It really fits with the whole "beauty is pain" mantra, now doesn't it?
But the pain of losing your hair to chemo is about more than just blending in (plenty of cancer patients are visibly sick before they even start the therapy) -- it's about the loss of a body part, a part of your body. Sure, it isn't a limb -- but, for women, it's the loss of a major part of their feminine identity. And when you lose your hair because of a terminal illness, as in my mom's case, it can feel like a major step toward the end (even if it is in fact part of a measure to forestall the inevitable).
- 1 vote
#1 - Thu Jul 22, 2010 8:57 AM EDTThe barber's comments sound flippant to me. It's obvious he's never had someone he cared about go through chemo. I lost my mother to cancer a number of years back and trust me when I say that while it was demoralizing for her to lose her hair it was the least of her concerns. It sounds to me like this barber is saying something that sounds like: "Hey, you may be dying of cancer but, with the new fashion, at least you'll blend in with the other women that are choosing to shave their heads for fashion reasons" and that kind of ticks me off.
#2 - Thu Jul 22, 2010 1:50 PM EDTMy mother died from cancer too. She hated losing her hair, but like your mother, she had bigger concerns.
I thought it rather flippant to compare the two -- bald by choice vs bald due to illness or other factor. I'm sure men who are bald by nature don't feel luckier because other men are choosing to shave their heads.
- 1 vote
I am sorry for both our your losses. I can see how this hairdresser's comments could strike a nerve for both of you. Perhaps Toni was trying to say something a little more along the lines of even bald you still look wonderful. Feeling good about yourself is always a bonus.
- 2 votes
Years back, I was in Tucson on vacation and exiting a convenience store after paying for gas and snacks. As I exited the store, I looked up to see a tall, elegant woman walking from the pumps to the store door.
She was @ 6' tall in open toed, strapped high heels and wearing a bright white short-sleeved jumpsuit with gold chain belt and matching jewelry (bangles, necklace, ear rings). She was completely bald and an absolute vision of beauty.
When I saw her, I actually stutter-stepped, to my embarrassment. To which she replied with a 10,000 watt smile of welcoming and understanding. I back-tracked two or three steps to open the door for her and stated that she looked stunning.
She responded by saying that it took cancer for her to realize how superficial many things in life are. I can still remember the goose-bumps her statement gave me...
And the frown and third degree my wife gave me when i reached the car...
- 3 votes
"She responded by saying that it took cancer for her to realize how superficial many things in life are. I can still remember the goose-bumps her statement gave me...
And the frown and third degree my wife gave me when i reached the car..."
That's a great story with a funny ending. My mother acted the same way. She had greater courage than anyone I ever knew. When she first got cancer and had to quit her job teaching, she started getting back into her yard work. When the cancer got so bad that she had to stay inside, she started making crafts. When it progressed to the point she was in a wheel chair, she started painting again. A number of those paintings are on the walls of my house. Throughout the entire time, she never complained even though we knew she was in such great pain. She always had a sunny attitude a smile when one of her kids walked into the room. When she died, the people that attended her funeral filled up the entire church with people standing in the back. Even the friends of her kids attended the service and not out of support for their friends but because they also had been affected by her. She was a great person and, at the time, I was still trying to find my way in life, and her example in her final days gave me the courage to get to where I am now today.
- 2 votes
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