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Article Source: BBC News - Japan hit by massive earthquakeBeing lavished with affection by your mum as a young child makes you better able to cope with the stresses and strains of adult life, say researchers.
Hugs, kisses and expressive declarations of love appear to rub off and foster emotional resilience.
High levels of motherly affection are likely to facilitate secure attachments and bonding, say the study authors, led by Dr Joanna Maselko.
This not only lowers distress but may also help a child to develop effective life, social, and coping skills, which will stand them in good stead as adults.
In the study, a psychologist rated the quality of interactions between the mothers and their eight-month-old children during a routine developmental check-up.
The psychologist judged how well the mother responded to her child's emotions and needs, and gave her an "affection score" based on the warmth of the interaction.
What you really want is responsiveness as well as affection - a mother who is in sync with her baby” Dr Terri Apter Psychologist and tutor
Thirty years later, the researchers approached the children, who were now adults, and asked them to take part in a survey about their well-being and emotions.
#1 - Wed Aug 18, 2010 1:38 PM EDTAwesome! :) My little one and I have already experienced silent "conversations". I'm very affectionate with her and we have quite a bond. While I was pregnant I had read that while they are infants, responding quickly when they cry helps build a sense of security so that later they tend not to be as timid and clingy. I don't know if it worked or if she's just her mama's daughter but she is very independent and just a tad opinionated also lol!
#2 - Wed Aug 18, 2010 2:44 PM EDTThe more we learn, the more we realize that we need to focus on the children and protect them from harm if our society is ever going to overcome abuse, crime and violence.
It is beyond time for mothers to be given credit for the hard task of raising a healthy child to adulthood. Mothers need the full support of their families and community if we want a better society.
Excellent post Loretta! :) I am finding out that my state (IN) does place a lot of importance on the mother which is wonderful. In Ohio women and children both are a pretty low priority.
It's wonderful to hear that a state is emphasizing the importance of motherhood. Too many complain that it is the mother's "fault" if their children don't do as well as others want them to, but too many of the complainers also don't want to have programs that help mothers that need it or acknowledge a mother's value when her children exceed expectations. Either way, mother's lose. It's time for that dynamic to change.
I agree that Mothering is a very important part of a child's life.
Although by the time children are really adults - say in the 14-18 year old range - it is literally impossible to "go back and try to change things" when the life changes hit, I think it IS possible for the Mother to keep expressing confidence to their children that they can indeed "be successful at what they want if they themselves try to...." and in that way keep "Mothering" them without becoming as the article put it "intrusive" or as I feel it can be also "taking too much responsibility" for the lives which the new adults really have to take for themselves - and in that way actually delaying the maturation of the child-adults until the parents - in this case the Mother - finally "back off" and let "nature takes its course".
Better that the young adults learn about the facts of life at an earlier age - as the older they get, the harder it will be for them to do so.... And the parents (Mother in this case...) can only live so long....
In short, (1) express confidence in a child's ability to succeed, (2) set a good example with your own lives as to how to do that, and (3) stand back and let the young adults/adults learn how to live, offering advice and minor assistance if and when appropriate to do so.
#4 - Fri Sep 10, 2010 2:23 PM EDTFourteen is a little young to be considered an adult. They still have a lot of learning to do as a child.
But I agree that overprotective parents aren't doing their kids any favors. However, it is hard to tread that path between necessary protection and overprotection. For each child, it is different.
I don't see a huge difference between fathers and mothers who are overprotective. It seems to have more to do with their world outlook than their gender.
The same for parents that are too lenient. I actually think they cause more harm than overprotective parents. Life isn't lenient. It is a demanding taskmaster, more so today than at any point in my lifetime.
My generation was lucky in that the circumstances of our lives were much better than kids today. Yes, today's kids have a lot more gadgets, but we had a lot more freedom. The latter is more important than the former. Sad that today's kids can roam like we did. Our lives were full without needing constant attention from parents or expensive gadgets to keep us busy.
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