Bill O'Reilly Should Shut Up -- It's None of His Business If Women Want to Raise a Kid Alone

Yep, it all about controlling women. Some people just can't accept that women, like men, are human and they have human rights just like a man.

They are so used to the idea that men get to control and define women that it causes them serious emotional disturbance when a woman decided she isn't going to play their patriarchal games.

Cajun Snake, I'm proud of your daughter. She made a hard decision and is still dedicated to making it work. I'm also proud of you for standing by her. Funny how we expect women to raise kids on their own, including married women, when the extended family was the norm until travel became easier and job were hard to come by nearby. That was what changed the extended family: the industrial age where people became dependent on big business rather than carrying on their family business one generation after another.

Your situation is common. I too did not receive support.

But it also proves that people who think it is so terrible single women are choosing to have children without men involved beyond sperm donation are barking up the wrong tree. For two reasons.

The first is that women are raising their children alone. Millions of us are. We're doing just fine despite the fact that the "fathers" have chosen to walk away. Being married at conception does not guarantee that the child won't be raised by a single parent, so let's kick that silly myth aside.

The second thing to consider is that the men have created this situation. Single women look around and see the harm done when men walk away from their children and wonder why they should allow that harm to happen when it is easily preventable. They also wonder why they should put up with male interference when much of it is also harmful. Too many women and children not only don't receive support from the ex, but what they do receive is grief because he doesn't stop abusing his fleeing family. He just finds new ways to abuse.

Why should any woman want to buy into that or to subject her children to it? If men want to be relevant in raising children, they need to change society's mores. They need to get out of the old rut that disadvantages women and gives men all the advantags. Women aren't buying it anymore.

Exactly. Same for my children and now my grandchild.

Part of the problem is that men have always been taught they are relevant, no matter what they do. As you said, women aren't playing by those rules anymore. They want more than a masculine-shaped body in their lives. They want a partner that treats them with respect and equality. They'd rather be on their own than be forced to submit to inferior status.

When the EEO act was first put through, the religious leaders were outraged, stating that if women were "allowed" to have careers and control their own money, they'd abandon their marriages. That's an admission they knew marriage wasn't a good deal for women.

I was working at the post office when EEO became law and women finally got equal pay at the PO. The men were outraged even though we were doing the exact same work they were. They began refusing to do anything hard, saying, "If women think they're equal, then let them do it." So we did and proved we could outwork them. It took months for things to get back to normal and only then because we challenged them to move more parcels in one night than the women did. They failed. We smoked them. After that, there was less open grumbling, although I suspect their minds weren't truly changed.

In the 1970s when no-fault divorce went through, men were angry again. That's when the mass exodus of fathers abandoning responsibility started. The typical excuse then was, "if she thinks she can make it on her own, let her." In other words, if he can't control her, he isn't going to help his children.

The disconnect between father and child is the direct responsibility of the father. A truly dedicated father will be in his child's life in a positive way. But our society has always downplayed fathers. Fathers are to sire children and provide money. They were never considered as integral to a child's life as the mother is. So it doesn't surprise me that abandonment is the path that too many fathers take.

We're definitely making strides forward, especially among the younger generations. But there are still men who bought into the "men are relevant just because they're men" routine. They believe that men get to make all the decisions, control the money, etc.

It's too bad because there will be fewer and fewer women willing to play by those rules in the future.

I've found that men who have not just accepted the new reality of gender relations but have embraced it to free themselves from rigid gender roles are much happier than those who yearn for the "old days." There are positive benefits for men too. I'm sure there have been millions of men who were forced to live lives they hated because the old gender roles were so rigid.

The problem is that many men aren't fully aware of how they could restructure their lives without those gender roles. Some aren't even aware they're being duped by the traditionalists when they are coerced into accepting those rigid roles.

I'm hoping that more men will do as women have done and say, "Not for me. This is what I want my life to look like" and then embrace the responsibilities they've chosen, including the responsibilities of a father if they've chosen fatherhood.

My dad was wonderful. I can't imagine how my life would have been without him. But he didn't fit the rigid role that was being demanded of fathers back then. He had the courage to be himself and to teach that independence to me.

Gosh, I miss him.

I only knew two fathers who were involved in their kids lives to any real extent. One of them was mine. Other kids used to adopt him as father, on an emotional level, because their own fathers were too distant even when they lived in the home.

Most dads went to work in the morning and came home at night when the youngest kids were already in bed or were ready for bed. The books aimed at women on how to have a happy marriage specifically stated that a man should have peace and quiet when he gets home and shouldn't be bothered with "petty things." Among those "petty things" were the children.

I can't think of a single father who was involved with their kids on the weekends except for driving them to church and back.

Not sure how a seed on single women wanting to have babies morphed into a seed on abortion. Why would they have an abortion if they want a baby? Seems counterproductive to me.

There is no such thing as "partial birth abortion." That's a buzz word made up by the anti-abortionists to hide the reality that is behind late term abortions. They are done in very special circumstances, usually because the fetus is not viable. A dead or dying fetus is a danger to the health of the mother. Would you want her to risk infection and death? I don't think so, but perhaps there are some that do.

Of course, the anti-woman crowd wants to portray the grieving mother who has to undergo a late term abortion as inhumane, a murderer, the spawn of the devil. Hmmm....where have we heard that concept before?

Oh, yeah, the early "fathers" of Christianity who considered all women evil, without souls, put on earth not by God but by the devil for the sole purpose of sullying men's souls.

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Woman is a temple built over a sewer, the gateway to the devil. Woman, you are the devil's doorway. You should always go in mourning and in rags. ~ Tertullian

Among all savage beasts, none is found so harmful as woman.~ St John Chrysostom

Every woman should be overwhelmed with shame at the thought that she is a woman. ~ St Clement

Any woman who acts in such a way that she cannot give birth to as many children as she is capable of, makes herself guilty of that many murders. ~ St Augustine

Can't trust those evil women, those "daughters of Eve." They don't count. What they "want" doesn't count. Their lives don't count. Here's on of those illustrious "fathers" of Christianity and his view on women:

Let them die in childbirth--that is why they are there ~ Martin Luther.

Yeah, let the women die. That's better than a late term abortion.

Good points. There are hundreds of ways we could help children and their parents. Unfortunately, as a society, we've chosen not to, as you pointed out. The children are pawns in the war on women. Can't ensure that all children receive a enough food, health care, a roof over their heads or a good education. That would let the parent off the hook.

If we can't "afford" to give a child the basics, then we sure aren't going to go the extra step and provide positive experiences for children, experiences that would help them develop into emotionally healthy adults who have cherished memories of the caring community who looked after them in the spring of their life.