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Cheating on your wife not only fractures your relationship—it also fractures your penis.
Have an Affair, Break Your Penis | Men's Health News
Seeded on Mon Jan 2, 2012 5:29 PM EST
Article Source: Men's Health- Enjoy this article? Help vote it up the 'Vine.
- Public Discussion (30)
I love it. In the middle of an article warning against having sex in weird situations, there's a link advertising 10 new places to have sex:
In what can only be described as the most painful example of karma on medical record, a new study in Sexual Medicine found that men who have extramarital affairs are more likely to break their penises.
Doctors at the University of Maryland found that half of their penile fracture patients between 2007 and 2011 sustained penis injuries when they were having affairs.
More from MensHealth.com: 10 New Places to Have Sex
Andrew Kramer, M.D., the study's lead author and a urologist at the University of Maryland Medical Center, blames the men's adventurous infidelity settings for their damaged goods. "A lot of these guys were having affairs in weird locations," he says. Think: cars, elevators, bathroom stalls, and offices. "If you have sex in a weird location or a physically awkward situation where you don't have total control over your penis, you might not be able to protect it from getting crushed."
- 2 votes
#1 - Mon Jan 2, 2012 5:29 PM EST
Doctors at the University of Maryland found that half of their penile fracture patients between 2007 and 2011 sustained penis injuries when they were having affairs.
So half of the penile fractures were sustained while *not* having affairs.
Seems to me the folks at Mens Health should, um, er, bone up on causal versus casual relationships.
- 7 votes
But was it them or the doctors in the study who made that observation? We'd need to read the study to find out, I guess.
- 4 votes
True, although my guess is that doctors would probably be less likely to make a false connection.
- 4 votes
What exactly is broken penis syndrome?
It's what we call penile fracture. It is a severe form of bending injury to the erect penis that occurs when a membrane called the tunica albuginea tears. The tunica albuginea surrounds the corpora cavernosa, specialized spongy tissue in the core of the penis that fills up with blood during an erection. When the tunica albuginea tears, the blood that is normally confined to this space leaks out into other tissues. You get bruising and swelling.
What can doctors do to fix the tear?
We put the person on general anesthesia and open up the skin through one or more incisions in the penis. Then we find the edge of the tear and close it up with sutures. Sometimes these tears are extensive and span half the circumference of the penis (usually the tears are crosswise), requiring about 10 stitches. Then we close everything up. The operation takes about an hour, and most people go home right after. Most can resume sex in about a month (after the wound has healed).
Great picture of a black&blue broken penis here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penile_fracture
Sometimes participation in these discussions is pure fun.
- 3 votes
Okay, but from that same wikipedia article is this...
In the western world the most common cause, accounting for about 30%-50% of cases, is intercourse.
What in Sam's hell would the other 50%-70% come from? Yikes.
- 4 votes
Halifax Oliver wrote:
What in Sam's hell would the other 50%-70% come from? Yikes.
One article that I ran across cited masturbation as the most frequent cause.
Gives a whole new meaning to "beating off." LOL
- 3 votes
That's a great question. Yikes is right.
Linda, thanks for the info and the link. Yes, discussions like this are fun and actually serve the purpose of letting people learn about things they may not have heard about otherwise, especially when knowledgeable people like you show up.
- 4 votes
"Yikes" is not right nor is it adequate. "Oh, @!$%# me Jesus, Joseph and Mary" is right.
I have never known anyone to admit that they broke their penis. Now, it is fairly rare, OR no one would ever admit to such a thing.
Thanks for the info on how to *shudder, shudder* repair a broken penis.
This isn't one of those "You Break It It's Yours" sort of things is it?
- 6 votes
Gosh, I thought it already was his. Maybe its more of a "bull in a china shop" sort of thing.
- 3 votes
But what about her, maybe she broke it. Just cause it's his doesn't mean he is the one who broke it, right?
- 4 votes
Well, that's true. Naughty woman. She ought to behave better. Oh, wait, if she'd been behaving better, he wouldn't had it where she could break it.
But here's another question: what if the she who broke it isn't the she who owns it? What if the she who owns it still wants it even though it's broke?
- 3 votes
Loretta, that's what I said. If she breaks it should she have to fix it?
- 2 votes
Hmmmm...if she can....but most owners don't like borrowers and don't want them around their property.
Can you imagine this ending up in small claims court (oops, better say large claims court), and the two gals presenting their case. Which side would claim him as a witness? Would he have to show his evidence? ROTFLOL.
- 3 votes
Man, the visualsof that just gotta make a guy cringe! :>(( Ya fool around and you gonna put that sucker in a sling, don'tcha know.
- 3 votes
#2 - Mon Jan 2, 2012 5:32 PM ESTROTFLOL. How does hubby call the wife from the emergency room and tell her how he broke it? Think she'll be willing to help with that sling?
- 3 votes
That would be a noose not a sling, I think. He will be hung from the rafters by his you know what.
- 4 votes
Well, yeah, probably.
Of course, he's now depriving her of her sexual pleasure because he broke it. So what's fair for her? Should she be able to use someone else's penis until his heals?
This opens up a whole new realm for moral discussion.....
- 5 votes
Hot Dang, we just moved from amoral to moral and never broke into a sweat. Cigarette, anyone? :~))
- 3 votes
Hey, if you haven't broken into a sweat, you're either mighty quick on the draw, or it isn't time for a cigarette yet. I always hope for the latter.
- 3 votes
Is it over the top to say then, that if the female is cheating as well, she'd subsequently walk away with a swollen lip?
- 1 vote
#3 - Mon Jan 2, 2012 7:09 PM ESTHalifax Oliver;
I very much doubt women go to the emergency room for having a swollen lip caused by cheating. A good soak in a warm bath would help with that and husband would never know.
A man on the other hand after having to explain to his wife how his penis got broke would probably have to be readmitted to the hospital with more than a broken penis.and a swollen lip.
I'll take that cigarette now FINutmegger :)
- 5 votes
Ideally, no one would get physically hurt, even if they cheat.
But yeah, she could hide an injury, even to her genitals, easier than he could. A broken penis is going to be a bit obvious. But as pointed out above, the other 50-70% of penile injuries are caused by something other than intercourse. Maybe he could study up on those causes real quick? Or perhaps he could tell her he was going on a religious retreat and couldn't have sex for several weeks?
(BTW, I think Grump meant his comment as a joke.)
- 4 votes
To be honest if my husband broke his penis by cheating I would tell him he got what he deserved and then I would laugh when he cringed or winced in pain and then I would probably laugh whenever I looked at him and say "Idiot". Suffer!
I don't think many women have the sense of humor that I have but I don't think he would cheat again unless he wanted out of the marriage.
I think most men would lie about how it happened if it was by cheating and maybe that's why the statistics are higher for other injuries. Without an eye witness to how he sustained the injury it's just his own version. It would have to be hard to break so how does he explain that fact?
Maybe those fishing, golfing, and hunting trips guys take when they tell their wives they need to get away for a while are Healing retreats.
I know Grump was joking.
- 4 votes
No one more worthy of suffering such an ignominious injury than the disloyal.
- 1 vote
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