A woman's sexual satisfaction does not require high levels of sexual desire--and in fact, does not require sexual activity at all, according to a new study that finds rates of sexual satisfaction highest among the youngest and oldest women it surveyed.

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What they found was that only one in five of all the women who had engaged in sexual activity in the past month volunteered that they frequently felt a high level of sexual desire, yet 61% declared that they were moderately or very satisfied with their sex life. This was particularly true of older women, virtually none of whom reported feelings of sexual desire, but among whom almost half said they always or almost always experienced orgasm and sexual satisfaction during sexual activity.
"In contrast with the traditional linear model, in which desire precedes sex, these results support a nonlinear model of sexuality in older women, because sexual desire did not precede sexual arousal in most women," the authors wrote. Women, they suggested, "engage in sexual activity for multiple reasons, which may include nurture, affirmation, or sustenance of a relationship."
In many past studies of women's sexual health, data such as these would have been interpreted as suggesting high levels of "female sexual dysfunction." But the authors caution that before declaring a woman dysfunctional, future studies of women and sex should make sure that the mismatch between sex and pleasure is a source of distress to her. For older women, in particular, that connection may not hold, they said, noting that "low sexual desire increases with age. But distress about low sexual desire decreases with age."
- 2 votes
Loretta_____Heck if they didn't feel the desire for the sex/why would you even drop your pants for it. I think even in older women if you can't feel the desire about who you are going to have sex with. ____To me that is like being a little slutish/or it must feel like your kissing the dog! I think if a woman cannot feel the whims of her fantasies with desire, that it is because she has just settled for a mediocre love life. Which was never really very satisfying to begin with. Just my opinion!!! What do you think Loretta?
- 1 vote
I know women don't feel sexual desire before they are approached, but when the person they love begins to make love, then desire comes alive. I think that's probably pretty common.
I also know women who have sex just because the other person wants it and they like being touched, even though they may not identify that as sexual desire.
I think the way our society teaches women to suppress their sexuality, they might not know what they feel is sexual desire. They've learned to ignore it because they've been taught it is shameful.
Another thing to consider is that sex is defined in male concepts. Women do not experience sex in the same way men do, so how can they use completely male terminology to apply to themselves? We need to redefine our terminology, come up with new terms and/or rethink what the sexual experience means before we can accurately gauge women's desire.
- 1 vote
Women do not experience sex in the same way men do, so how can they use completely male terminology to apply to themselves?
That's often the problem. I think it's quite possible the use of the term "desire" puts a woman over 40 in mind of the feeling that exists when hormones are raging in the middle of an ovulation period - a biological compulsion that can't be ignored. "Sexual interest" might be a better term for an attitude of openness toward a trusted partner that falls somewhat short of blazing lust.
- 1 vote
When I've been in lust, it had nothing to do with my monthly ovulation period. It had to do with wanting that man...all the time.
Most women do exactly opposite what you are thinking. They avoid sex when they think they're ovulating because the last thing to make sex sexy is the worry about becoming pregnant.
However, I like your term and the definition. It does provide a gentler feeling to embrace. It could apply at any age really because even in our youngest years, there are times when desire isn't strong but we're still interested -- for the most part.
- 2 votes
Here is what I think you need to remember/is that desire comes from the expectation of pleasure. I know when I feel lust sometimes I just think/of the possibility of the up coming act. And sometimes I just wonder what it would be like again/to be able to make love to a man. Since I've been alone now for many years/just the thought of having sex can make me feel lust. One part of desire I think you need to include is the ability to fantasise before you do it. Fantasies I believe can add to the pleasure. Just my thought of the subject. What do you guys think?
- 1 vote
Fantasies are definitely an important part. They add a lot of depth to our satisfaction. As to being alone, aren't we fortunate to live in an era when we can obtain a wide range of sex toys on the Net? Don't even have to leave our home. Some of them are beyond spectacular.
- 2 votes
Loretta_____I've always been too shy to get those things for fear who ever I bought from would know.
Have you gone to any of the online sites? You're anonymous there unless you want to buy and even after you buy, they don't know you, not really.
There's a couple I recommend:
Both usually have good prices, including stuff on sale. They send in plain wrappers and don't bug you with lots of emails or snail mails.
Both have good return policies too. That's important when buying via the Net.
- 1 vote
Loretta____Thank you for all of your advice and information/I will take it under advisement. Interesting subjects you pick on some days. Maria-Lyn
- 1 vote
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