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Recently, the New York Times reported that rape is worse when it happens to men than when it happens to women.
“There is no arena in which rape takes place between men and women that it does not take place between men and men[.]“
Like women, men who are raped feel violated and ashamed and may become severely depressed or suicidal. They are at increased risk for substance abuse, problems with interpersonal relationships, physical impairments, chronic pain, insomnia and other health problems.
But men also face a challenge to their sense of masculinity. Many feel they should have done more to fight off their attackers. Since they may believe that men are never raped, they may feel isolated and reluctant to confide in anyone. Male rape victims may become confused about their sexual orientation or, if gay and raped by a man, blame their sexual orientation for the rape.
Rape is worse when it happens to men, reports the New York Times | Radfem Hub
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See what they did there? Rape is “X” when it happens to women; rape is “X+1″ when it happens to men. Of course, the Times would probably deny that’s what they said if they were ever asked about it, but look, folks: the math doesn’t lie.
The way the Times handles this subject is very revealing, and it’s not just that they dedicated two entire pages to the subject of male victims of rape. While we are just supposed to accept its math at face value, and agree with them that male victims suffer the exact same things women suffer, +1, we also are not supposed to notice what they are necessarily implying about femininity, and women’s “sense” of ourselves: that femininity is not challenged at all, and our sense of ourselves is not challenged at all, when we are raped by men. And let’s just assume for the time being that this implication is entirely true. Now why might that be?
Femininity is not challenged at all when men rape women because femininity, and women’s sense of ourselves as patriarchally-constructed “woman”, are literally built on women being raped by men. That’s what femininity is. If that’s not just the complete and unabridged truth of the matter, then ask yourself how in the world could anyone ever think, or believe, or say, or say in public without being seriously challenged on it, that men’s gender role is challenged when men are raped by other men, but women’s isn’t. Women’s gender role is actually supported by rape, while conversely, men’s is challenged. This is what the Times is saying here, and they are absolutely right.
- 10 votes
___I don't need to hear that from a news source/it just goes to reason that it would be much harder on men. Because we women have trouble reporting it. I hate to see what a man goes through before he is able to report it. I will tell you what it takes them/years thats what many years to get past the shame of it in order to tell. Look at all these cases of rape or molestation being reported finally/mant to many years too late to prosecute. I think because of that fact the laws should be extended for these poor victims.
- 3 votes
Witchwind, in the comments section at Rad Fem Hub, responded to this erroneous belief:
The consequences of rape are actually worse when it’s done to women: this is a complete reversal of facts. Men have the benefit of credibility when they say they’re raped (as whenever they say anything), women don’t. Male rapes represent perhaps 20% of child rapes and 1% of adult rapes, yet you can find way more articles saying how serious rape on men is, how traumatic it is, etc. they’re much more likely to be believed, and nobody minimises or denies the seriousness of the harm or implies that deep down they’re sluts who asked for it. Whenever the media talks about child rape or child payed rape, they usually centre on boys, not girls, despite girls being the majority of the victims. Male victims are more respected, the truth is that it’s easier for them to talk than for female victims, contrary to this bull@!$%# that it’s against their masculinity. Men are not the sex class, by definition they don’t consent to rape or sexual torture, or murder. Yeah, @!$%# you, New york times.
- 12 votes
I saw the original NYTimes article and it in no way implied that rape was worse for men. It did say it is less common than it is for women and that many men don't seem to realize it happens at all. This Rad Fem Hub article is pretty much constructed from red herrings and straw men that were NOT in the original article.
isn't it possible they were saying that, in addition to all the horrors women must face when raped, men must also face the psychological effects of living in a culture that neither acknowledges the existence of male rape or allows for men to be victims?
the fact that this article wasn't about the suffering of women, doesn't mean it was downplaying or approving of the suffering of women. Why does it always gave to be adversarial? its not a suffering competion.
- 8 votes
This paragraph is from the NYT article:
But men also face a challenge to their sense of masculinity. Many feel they should have done more to fight off their attackers. Since they may believe that men are never raped, they may feel isolated and reluctant to confide in anyone. Male rape victims may become confused about their sexual orientation or, if gay and raped by a man, blame their sexual orientation for the rape.
The first sentence means it is worse for men because it challenges their masculinity. Let's take the paragraph and change the gender.
But women also face a challenge to their sense of femininity. Many feel they should have done more to fight off their attackers. Since they may believe that women are often raped, they may feel isolated and reluctant to confide in anyone. Female rape victims may become confused about their sexual orientation or, if gay and raped by a woman, blame their sexual orientation for the rape.
So how are those points worse for men than women? Women are faced with the same emotional struggles. The only difference is our society doesn't admit their identity is challenged by sexual violence because we accept sexual violence against women as "normal." Some evolutionists even argue it is "natural" for men to rape women.
- 7 votes
I think the violation is so severe that trying to hold up a ruler to measure this instance of it versus that instance of it is ridiculous.
- 4 votes
its not worse, its different.
the article is about men who have been raped, so it is discussing that issue, and how it differs from the one we normally think of, female rape.
their is no reason to see this as a comparison study unless you are just an angry person always looking for a reason to be in combat with men.
- 7 votes
So how are those points worse for men than women?
Different, not worse. And I think you are just PRETENDING that the answer isn't obvious. Let's see. First off MOST people are heterosexual. Second, MOST rapists are men. So a female being raped by a male (most common type of rape) is violated and angry...but NOT sexually confused. Women fear rape by men because it is disgustingly common.
Men are ALSO almost always raped by men. But since most of them are heterosexual the violation comes with a "sexual confusion" element not common in women. Although I guess a lesbian being raped by a man MIGHT have a similar problem, but I don't think anyone has studied it yet. Also many men seem oblivious to the fact that they CAN be raped. The article simply discusses the differences in the TYPES of psychological trauma....it does not say rape is WORSE for men.
- 1 vote
This seems to be about who sufferes more after being raped? I think we can all agree that rape is bad for the victim, of any gender.
But there are many degrees of rape. There are children who are raped. People raped by starngers. People raped by their dates. and on and on
Why can't we agree that all rape victims suffer.
The "worst" kind of rape is when a person of trust rapes you. Like a caregiver or a clergyman,etc.
Luckily I have never been raped so my answers are subjective.
- 3 votes
its not worse, its different.
I think this is worth repeating.
They both have their serious problems. Saying one is worse than the other is crazy. This is subjective.
Both are robbed of their dignity.
Both are robbed of their security.
Both feel tremendous shame and guilt.
Both tend to cope with it terribly. I think a major difference lies in how they tend to cope and that is worthy of protracted study.
Assuming that reactions by victims of either gender are the same is not a good idea. It doesn't serve anyone's best interests.
One male victim may not feel the same as another under similar circumstances, but they may hold more in common with one another than a female victim and vice versa.
It think that the most important thing for victims of either gender be given the patience, respect and care that they deserve.
Their pain should never be referred to as, or considered, less important or severe because of their gender.
With that in mind, I take exception to anyone who says that one gender's suffering should have a higher priority than the other.
- 7 votes
1.8: But since most of them are heterosexual the violation comes with a "sexual confusion" element not common in women.
Why would being raped make a man "sexually confused"? Doesn't he know he's heterosexual or homosexual? Doesn't he know rape does not define his desires?
The whole “it’s worse for men” argument is based on homophobia, which is based on Bible admonitions against homosexuality. Bible admonitions against homosexuality (which are only aimed at men) is based on misogyny.
Per the culture of the time, men were not supposed to penetrate other men because they were lowering the penetrated male to the class of being female. Being female was so despised, the men rose every morning and praised God for not making them female.
Their entire sexual culture was based on enslaving women for the purpose of raping them for a lifetime. Major passages in the Old Testament are devoted to “God” telling them to go to neighboring villages and murdering everyone except the virgin girls (read preteen since girls were married off at menarche). The virgin girls were their spoils of war who they brought home and serially raped for the rest of their lives, which was called “marriage.” Even dear old Moses, the savior of the Jews, was quoted giving these instructions. In fact, he was angry at his soldiers for bringing home adult women to rape and ordered them all slain immediately — but added they could keep the little girls to rape.
Is it any wonder why the religious are still into raping women and children? Or that is it still a worse “sin” for two consenting men to engage in sex with each other than for a man to rape a woman? As long as religions exist that endorse the misogyny of the Torah, aka the Old Testament, misogyny will be the law and culture of our land.
Although I guess a lesbian being raped by a man MIGHT have a similar problem, but I don't think anyone has studied it yet.
Only MIGHT be the same? So lesbians wouldn't abhor being raped by men in the same way men would abhor being raped by men? How did you come to that conclusion or even the conclusion they MIGHT not find it just as abhorrent?
Of course, this plays a part. Straight men know this. They even deliberately engage in "corrective" rape which excuses their raping of a lesbian because "once she has a real man, she won't be a lesbian anymore." This is defining women as the sexual class that men have a right to penetrate with or without their permission. That echo is within your reply too: the assumption is it "natural" for men to penetrate women, even against their will, so a lesbian would be "less" abhorrent than a man.
Also many men seem oblivious to the fact that they CAN be raped
That's sort of a stunning statement. How can they be oblivious to it? Isn't that part of homophobia -- the worry a gay man might rape them?
- 4 votes
That's sort of a stunning statement. How can they be oblivious to it? Isn't that part of homophobia -- the worry a gay man might rape them?
I can answer this one. Yes, unless they've already been attacked or threatened with rape, most men are completely oblivious the possibility of being raped.
The reason is that unwanted sexual aggression from men capable of overpowering them is not common in the social circles of heterosexual men.
My guess is that most male victims have no idea what's about to happen to them.
You have to understand, male culture is usually about feeling macho and self confident. Men that pray on other men are something of an anomaly in regular society and don't openly advertise their aggression. Men who prey on women are all too common. Women tend to be much more vigilant against sexual assault because they have likely been sexually harassed multiple times in their life starting at a young age.
Please understand, I am not saying that sexual harassment of women should ever be tolerated. Women have every right to be free of mistreatment and every right to dictate the terms of how they should be treated.
I don't think people hate homosexuals because they are afraid of them as individuals, I think they fear them because they represent a changing environment. I think it has a lot more to do with just hating them because they are different and a convenient outlet for hatred through the bandwagon appeal to peers.
- 3 votes
My guess is that most male victims have no idea what's about to happen to them.
My guess is that female victims don't either, especially since the most common form of rape is acquaintance rape -- someone they know and trust. That psychological violence is far worse than the psychological violence that occurs when raped by a stranger, even if the victim is a man. How does a woman trust any man again when she's made acutely aware a man who thought loved and respected her thought nothing of raping her?
- 5 votes
How does a woman trust any man again when she's made acutely aware a man who thought loved and respected her thought nothing of raping her?
Men experience the same kind of thoughts. Its universal.
Hating other men or certain kinds of men is not uncommon after such humiliating circumstances. Its reactive aggression. Like a kid whose been picked on too much and stabs the first person who they feel threatened by.
- 3 votes
Although I guess a lesbian being raped by a man MIGHT have a similar problem, but I don't think anyone has studied it yet.
Only MIGHT be the same? So lesbians wouldn't abhor being raped by men in the same way men would abhor being raped by men? How did you come to that conclusion or even the conclusion they MIGHT not find it just as abhorrent?
See, now YOU are doing the same thing that the author of the article did. You changed what I said and then argued against what YOU said. That is called a "straw man". You aren't arguing with me....you are arguing with a made up person that YOU invented. I said "MIGHT" be the same because I personally do not know and wanted to qualify that fact by not implying that I personally know exactly how a lesbian would feel if raped by a man. Did I say she wouldn't "find it just as abhorrent"?....NOPE never said it. YOU said it. Stop putting words in my mouth...it is rude and unbecoming of you.
The whole “it’s worse for men” argument is based on homophobia, which is based on Bible admonitions against homosexuality.
There IS no "it's worse for men" argument. The author of this article is LYING about the original NY Times article which implied NO SUCH THING.
That's sort of a stunning statement. How can they be oblivious to it? Isn't that part of homophobia -- the worry a gay man might rape them?
Weirdly yeah....they seem to be afraid that some swishy gay guy is going to jump them and they never see the REAL rapist coming! As far as I know the guys raping other guys aren't even gay.
How does a woman trust any man again when she's made acutely aware a man who thought loved and respected her thought nothing of raping her?
I don't know about other women but after I got raped I developed a weird "sixth sense" about who to NOT trust. I still meet guys who seem perfectly normal...but send up a screaming red flag in my head. I've learned to trust that hard learned instinct. I am now happily married to a man I trust implicitly.
- 3 votes
There IS no "it's worse for men" argument. The author of this article is LYING about the original NY Times article which implied NO SUCH THING.
As soon as the NYT article said "But men also face a challenge to their sense of masculinity," they said it was worse for men. The assumption being that men's sense of masculinity is more fragile and more important than women's sense of femininity. Here's a comment by Brodie MacLeod at the Rad Fem Hub about that particular sentence:
In other words, their sense of humanity. Because according to patriarchal logic, masculinity=humanity. But since women aren’t fully human to begin with, we don’t have that to struggle with. For women there’s nothing to lose, because we’re already women. That’s the way they see it.
It says a lot about gender roles when the NY Times openly admits that raping a woman raises no challenge to her gender role.
- 3 votes
The assumption being that men's sense of masculinity is more fragile and more important than women's sense of femininity.
No one said that. You and the Rad Fem Hub author are reading WAY more into it than was written. Although a man's sense of masculinity DOES appear far more fragile than a woman's sense of femininity. Shouldn't we feel bad for them, not attack them for it???
- 4 votes
Why should or is a man's sense of masculinity "way more fragile" than a woman's sense of femininity? Both are patriarchal social constructs that have nothing to do with our actual traits and characteristics. Both are dictated to us and do not come from within.
Is the male social construct more pitiful than the female social construct?
- 4 votes
Why should or is a man's sense of masculinity "way more fragile" than a woman's sense of femininity?
*sigh* It was kind of a joke.
Both are patriarchal social constructs that have nothing to do with our actual traits and characteristics. Both are dictated to us and do not come from within.
Well, we're kind of stuck with social constructs. We are social animals. But I disagree that masculinity and femininity are entirely social constructs. Our behavior, traits and characteristics ARE influenced by hormone levels. They DO come from within.
- 2 votes
Although a man's sense of masculinity DOES appear far more fragile than a woman's sense of femininity. Shouldn't we feel bad for them, not attack them for it???
The point isn't that one or the other should be considered more fragile. The point is that the reason men are considered to be more "damaged" or fragile when they're raped - whether it's by a man OR by a woman - is that men, unlike women, aren't raised with the same cultural expectation that they will, at some point in their lives, be the victim of a sexual assault. So it's a shock to them - and apparently everyone else - when it does happen.
Because, IMO, sexuality, in our culture, is generally defined by who is the subject of it rather than the object of it. The "masculine" ones are seen as the "doers" and the "feminine" ones are seen as the "done to" in our culture. So the masculine ones are generally raised to believe that their gender/sexuality somehow inoculates them against sexual aggression. And the feminine ones are raised to expect to be the the subject, the "done to" and thereby the assaulted at some point in their lives.
- 5 votes
I still believe the main cause of harm done to any victim of rape is our attitudes toward sex in general. We deny sexual urges and experiences, and somehow sexual activity has become equated to a sense of morality to an outlandish degree.
I recall during early debates on teaching sex education in schools the joke, "Why teach sex in schools? Let them learn from their priests or scoutmasters like everyone else." Every town, it seemed has its "Mable" who taught all the boys what IT was about and the rather strange man who would do things to you and maybe give you a beer. Maybe "God" protects us by enabling us to forget our early sexual passages which are closer to the Kinsey Report than we like to admit. Some how in spite of growing up ourselves, we want to pretend that our children are not experiencing the same things, the same feelings.
In many cultures the active partner in a same sex relationship is not gay, so I understand the point made above, however, I believe we need to concentrate on changing the attitudes toward sex and agree that both partners can enjoy a shared experience. This would affect rape victims because the "had sex" taboo would be removed from an act committed as a power play and not sexual activity. Being raped should have no more of a social stigma attached to it than being punched in the nose (in other words none).
- 2 votes
Dave Chappelle seems to have a certain perspective on Man Rape
But rape is not funny.
- 1 vote
A few points:
The written notation calling the listeners "bitches" is a clear reference to being raped making someone feminine, which goes back to what was discussed in other posts about that.
He says he doesn't care about women rape. That's the attitude of too many in our society and why rape continues to flourish.
He also tells the audience he doesn't know why they're laughing about rape, before he reveals he's talking about male rape victims. So the audience is laughing at female rape victims of a serial rapist. After that he reveals the serial rapist is raping men.
He then goes on to say the serial rapist has seven victims reporting the rape, which means he must have raped hundreds since most wouldn't report it. That would be true for women too.
What may not be true for women is if they would be alive to report it. Serial rapists of women are quite often serial killers. The FBI estimates there are as many as 200 serial killers at work in the US at any given time. A few of those might be focusing on men, but most of them are focusing on women.
His point about male rape is summed up in his main joke: he would rather tell his girlfriend he was out having an affair than tell her he was raped. That's indicative of male feelings about being raped -- because having an affair is "manly" while being raped is not. That's being made feminine.
Of course, the majority of female rape victims also make up other things they tell their friends and lovers rather than admit they were raped but for different reasons. They're afraid of being blamed, of wanting it, of causing it, of being rejected because of it. The last is probably true for men too, but not the rest of them.
And yes, rape is not funny.
- 4 votes
ALL rapists, whether priests or lay people , have NO conscience, are deadly dangerous and MUST BE REMOVED from society permanently.
- 5 votes
#2 - Sun Jan 29, 2012 11:05 AM ESTThe vast majority of rapes are done BY men. To say that a man has a harder time coping with this violent act, is a bit...well...nonsense. Aren't most men who have been raped, been raped while in prison or some type of hazing? Rape is not about the sexual act itself, it is about violent dominance, the control being exerted upon the person being raped!
Where as countless women are randomly attacked and raped every day somewhere in this country. (something like every 5-10 minutes or so) More often than not, by someone they know or met. Date rape and drugging women's drinks to rape them, occurs with much more frequency than they do in relation to men!
Sorry, just not buying into this. I do have a great deal of the sympathy and admiration for those who have been raped and still managed to overcome and move on with their lives!!!!
- 3 votes
#3 - Sun Jan 29, 2012 12:21 PM ESTSomething you said got me thinking that perhaps there is some merit to the article (despite what I wrote earlier). Don't men who are raped ("vast majority ... done BY men") have to contend both with the violation of the rape as well as the violation of their sexual orientation? Not having been raped, I wouldn't know, but from what I understand the psychological stigma of male homosexuality is especially acute among people indoctrinated by our society, even as compared to lesbianism.
- 4 votes
Letter to the NYT editor posted at the Rad Fem Hub:
I was disappointed to learn about your article dismissing the harms of rape for women. It implied that getting pregnant, and consequently being forced to undergo and abortion, or worse, being forced to carry your rapist’s baby to term (in which case you can die: please check the maternal death rate statistics) is less important than “men’s masculinity”.Your article states that men suffer a blow to their masculinity and sexuality as though this was an additional trauma that men must undergo when raped. You are assuming, of course, that all women are heterosexual, and you are also stating that women’s sexuality is based upon rape. Femininity is the box women are pushed into in order for men to feel masculine. Rape can *render* a woman feminine, sure, if feminine means “docile” “timid” “passive” and “submissive”. But you are confusing cause and effect.
- 7 votes
WaltDis,
...violation of rape as well as the violation to their sexual orientation?
Maybe. But, is it really about sexual orientation or more about being overpowered and forced into submission by another man? The stigma could then be more about the impact to his "male ego" losing the fight before the violation even occurred? (BTW, I am not making lite of the male ego!) Typically speaking women and children are attacked and raped due to their weaken strength compared to a man's.
IMHO, a rapist, like a pedophile are THE worst scum of the earth!! I would have no problems with these criminals being put to death or lobotomized for their crimes against women, children and men!!!!
The vast majority of rapes are done BY men. To say that a man has a harder time coping with this violent act, is a bit...well...nonsense. Aren't most men who have been raped, been raped while in prison or some type of hazing? Rape is not about the sexual act itself, it is about violent dominance, the control being exerted upon the person being raped!
Outragious, it is different for when a man gets raped than when a woman is raped.
A man does not have a support group, for starters, they are laughed at and mocked at as well by men and women both, and most male rapes go unreported due to the fear of their names and stories making the comedy central (news). It's a bigger crime than most of us would like to think that happens on a daily basis. Men should be treated with respect and dignity and not laughed at for when the few that do report it have experienced from the law enforcement, 911, the talk shows and the media.
Lorena Bobbitt's Infamous Crime - Oprah.com
www.oprah.com/world/Lorena-Bobbitts-Unforgettable-Story
Apr 23, 2009 – In the '90s, Lorena Bobbitt made headlines when she cut off her husband's penis.
As far as jail. When men have sex in prison, and I know someone that was in prison. They didn't rape one another, they had sex to fulfill their needs, but after they leave, the generally go back to their wives and girlfriends. Yes there are some the=t do get raped in prison, but it's not as big as you may think because if it happens, it adds more tome to your sentence.
I can see ow a man would fell worse for when they are raped compared to women being raped. As said, women have support groups, can talk about it, but men don't have the same, and not all men are raped by men, some are raped by women as well which makes it harder for the man.
It's makes it hared for a man to report it because they know that officers will laugh at them, they will become a news sensation, mocked and belittled by those around him. For women, it's a tragic event (rape), they get support by everyone in most cases, they have arms opened to them for comfort and are treated differently than a male rape victim.
Man Cuts Off Wife's Breast and Super-Glues Her Vagina
Jul 20, 2011 – Of course, it is not the same as cutting off a man's penis, because a penis is ... It was nice of her to call police, so after a long delay he finally got medical ..... These women, and many other will laugh at men getting mutilated, ...
I can definitely see why a man would commit suicide and have a harder time in dealing with rape than a woman. Just read the two article above and see how the men are laughed at when things happen to them, but it's not funny when a man mutilates a women.
Rape is not funny when it happens to anyone, and it should be equal and fair treatment for both men and women alike. Even though some people might think male rape is funny, it isn't. Rape is a crime a all rape crimes should be treated as such.
Rape Is Funny When It Is Male on Male - Television Tropes & Idioms
tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.../RapeIsFunnyWhenItIsMaleOnMale
The Rape Is Funny When It Is Male On Male trope as used in popular culture, with a list of examples from all media.Why is male rape used for comedy in films / TV? - Yahoo! Answers
answers.yahoo.com › ... › All Categories › Social Science › Gender Studies
16 answers
Male rape can be funny (so can female rape for that matter, there is no topic, however taboo that cannot be made into comedy, just take a look at The Onion ...Why is male on male rape "funny" - Total War Center Forums
www.twcenter.net › ... › Ethos, Mores et Monastica
52 posts - 16 authors - Apr 5, 2010
Showing men as weak is apparently funny, it's just a reversal of reality to get a laugh. It should be seen as at least equal to male on female rape ...Chappelle on male rape « Toy Soldiers
toysoldier.wordpress.com/2010/04/17/chappelle-on-male-rape/
Apr 17, 2010 – I do not generally find comedic bits about male rape funny, primarily because comedians tend to mock the victims rather than the situation.Male rape: the unspeakable crime | World news | The Guardian
www.guardian.co.uk/world/2002/nov/18/gender.uk
Nov 18, 2002 – Male rape is funny. There are the jokes about bending over in the shower to pick up the soap, or you can have a snigger about the staff at the ...
- 3 votes
I've never found rape funny, no matter who the victim is. I don't know anyone who does.
For women, it's a tragic event (rape), they get support by everyone in most cases, they have arms opened to them for comfort and are treated differently than a male rape victim
No, women don't get support in most cases. They get blamed. If only she wouldn't have gone there/wore that/did that, she wouldn't have been raped.
Most women are raped by acquaintances and quite often by someone they care about -- husband, brother, father, uncle, friend. Too often, these women cannot confide in other family without being blamed or called a liar. No family member wants to hear something so awful about another family member they love. Same with friends.
When women do report it, they are questioned with skepticism by the police and attacked in court. The default is not she's a victim of a crime, but she wanted it and now is lying about it to punish him.
These are the reasons why the majority of rapes are not reported. While the problems for men might differ, I don't see them as greater than what women face.
- 4 votes
Arieus,
Ask yourself why there are more rape support goups for women than men. Perhaps because rape happens to women much more frequently, than men? How frequently are men drugged and raped compared to women? How many men compared to women experience date rape? Rape happens more frequently to women and children than men due to their being the physically weaker parties.
I understand that you may feel as though I was ...well..belittling a man's feelings on this issue. As I previously stated, I am NOT making light of a man's ego! It is part and parcel of his overall masculinity. So, my question remains the same- is the emotional trauma because he was physically overpowered and forced to submit by another man before the rape even occurred? This is an important factor for men when receiving counseling.
Furthermore, I did not in any context refer to this issue as amusing in any manner. Rape is a heinous crime! Period!
Some prisoners have sex with each other for the sexual release. BUT, there are many within the prison who do it to humilate and control other inmates. Does the blonde hair, blue eye guy draw more attention in this regards? I have been told, by someone who spent 15 years in prison, that they most certainly ARE targeted because of their appearance! That there are
"willing bitches" and "forced bitches" in regards to prison life.
Loretta Kemsley,
I agree with you whole heartily! The women who have been raped are put on trial the moment she claims she has been raped. The "why were you at that location, were you wearing provocative clothing" or "what were you doing out so late at night in that area" suggests that a woman, any woman, should not be able to live her life freely and the result being "she brought it on her self" mentality. I have to wonder if men are put through this type of interrogation when their rape had been reported.
- 3 votes
This is a silly observation. Men and women suffer equally from rape. Now I will say something that will get me into trouble. Rape is terrible; however, I believe we make it worse by our attitudes toward it and our reactions. A girl is raped, experiences its terror (rape is an act of terror/control) only to be told over and over again, "You must not feel guilty or that you are impure." There is no reason she should feel that way in the first place. If it is a boy, he hears, "You are just as much a man as you were before this happened." Why would he think this in the first place? Society's hang ups get projected on the rape victim making the terrible experience even worse. Before anyone starts, it started happening to me at age 9. My mother's attitude toward the matter made it an uncomfortable experience but not a force impacting my sense of masculinity or personal value. We do damage by making sex taboo and by our prejudices and ignorance.
- 4 votes
#4 - Sun Jan 29, 2012 12:56 PM ESTRape is terrible; however, I believe we make it worse by our attitudes toward it and our reactions. A girl is raped, experiences its terror (rape is an act of terror/control) only to be told over and over again, "You must not feel guilty or that you are impure." There is no reason she should feel that way in the first place
I agree. The hype makes it worse. I hate hearing all this "she'll never be the same" or "Her life has been ruined" crap. I once heard a girl in college say she'd rather be murdered than raped....it took all my self control not to slap her!! It's like we are socially EXPECTED to have a mental breakdown if we are raped.
I was raped when I was 17. Yeah...it sucked. It hurt. I was angry. And I wanted to kill the guy. However it did NOT ruin my life. I had a few flash backs during sex years later (poor guy I was with got punched a few times), but after some counselling and time I was fine. It is a traumatic experience...NOT the end of the world. Personally I was more traumatized by various beatings and an attempted murder that I have endured over the years.
- 5 votes
I once heard a girl in college say she'd rather be murdered than raped
In the 1950s and earlier, that was commonly taught to all women: they'd be better off dead than raped. That was because girls were supposed to be the property of men and rape was treated as a crime against the husband or the father rather than the actual victim. A girl who was not a virgin was not "marriagable." A married woman was often treated as an adultress -- as having betrayed her husband -- if she was raped. The Bible has stoning as the penalty for being raped because of this. This is still happening in the world today with many Muslim countries stoning or hanging rape victims.
- 6 votes
As Dr. Phil is always saying: "Let's get real here."
RAPE is close to our most heinous crime and does horrific damage both pyschologically and physically to BOTH sexes, including children and adults.
However, with FEMALES, there is the ADDED psychological trauma, IMMEDIATELY, if she survives the actual attack whether by a singular or many males - "What if I am pregnant? " "NO, NO, NO!!!"
Now, you have possibly MORE than one victim out of a SINGLE INCIDENCE OF RAPE to a FEMALE, and the victimization of said attack has possibly just begun.
Men DO NOT get pregnant from it.
- 2 votes
#5 - Sun Jan 29, 2012 12:59 PM ESTNo, but they can still get HIV.
I think you are making a big mistake by assuming that rape is worse for either gender.
- 2 votes
Hmmm, when I got raped the idea of getting pregnant never occurred to me. I think because I was pretty sure he didn't ejaculate. It was a pure show of power, he didn't seem to feel the need to "finish".
- 1 vote
Chris:
Simply stated that there is always the possibility of there being up to THREE VICTIMS whenever a female, starting at puberty, around age 11, is raped; ie female rape victim and possibly 2 offspring. (Twins)
THAT is possibly a LOT of lives the FEMALE VICTIM MUST BE CONCERNED WITH OTHER THAN SIMPLY HER OWN.
MEN do NOT have to think/worry immediately about ANY OTHER LIVES - other than their own.
Factual statement.
- 1 vote
Comment by Witchwind at the Rad Fem Hub:
I’d say rape on girls and women compared to men is x + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 = waaaaaaaay worse than anything a man can experience.
1st 1 = pregnancy
2d 1 = abortion
3rd 1 = termed pregnancy and forced to raise children from rape
4th 1 = possible death or severe complicaitons from pregnancy or abortion
5th 1 = diseases, STDs, AIDS,
6th 1 = Undiagnosed and untreated PTSD (often resulting in increased vulnerability to more rape, intimate male
terrorism, prostitution, marginalisation, exclusion, poverty, depression, longterm incapacity to work, etc.)
7th 1 = impossibility to ask for help or even be heard (reduction to silence, systematic accusation and shaming of the
female victims, systematic denial and disbelief of the violence and protection of the male perpetrators, complete
invisibilisation of victims, etc etc).Sooooo, adult men don’t even scratch the surface of this. Now, men = x+1? really?
This nightmare becomes even worse when you realize the religious far right are trying to pass laws, like "personhood" laws, that would forbid both reglular birth control, Plan B and abortion, even when the woman has been raped.
- 6 votes
So MANY, MANY more INNOCENT, DEFENSELESS VICTIMS when the RAPE VICTIM is FEMALE.
(And ALL of SOCIETY picks up the MASSIVE FINANCIAL TAB, folks.....)
MEN do NOT have to think/worry immediately about ANY OTHER LIVES - other than their own.
Factual statement.
I'm afraid that simply isn't true.
Everyone who is raped will be subject to worrying about the impact of it on their loved ones who are already alive and they DO which is why so many rapes go unreported.
Rape destroys lives regardless of gender. I find it very hard to believe that a man who is raped is any less likely to feel as though their entire world has been shattered or as bad as he can possibly feel.
How would you feel if the person nearest and dearest to you was raped? What if it was your sole guardian, or parent or child? These things all occur to people who have been raped. Even children.
It might destroy you.
x + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1
Pregnancy is a complicating factor and would undoubtedly make the ordeal an even worse experience. This does not mean that males are any less a victim than females.
Abortion rights are extremely important for this reason, though I realize that it comes as small compensation for their pain and suffering.
However, I disagree profoundly that any of the following things only happen to female victims:
5th 1 = diseases, STDs, AIDS,
6th 1 = Undiagnosed and untreated PTSD (often resulting in increased vulnerability to more rape, intimate male
terrorism, prostitution, marginalisation, exclusion, poverty, depression, longterm incapacity to work, etc.)
7th 1 = impossibility to ask for help or even be heard (reduction to silence, systematic accusation and shaming of the
female victims, systematic denial and disbelief of the violence and protection of the male perpetrators, complete
invisibilisation of victims, etc etc).
These are things that can happen to anyone who has been raped. The danger of assuming this only happens to female victims is that male victims are more likely to slip through the cracks and go unrecognized.
The fear of not being believed and being further shamed keeps people silent of both genders.
- 1 vote
Chris, we are ALL on the same page regarding rapists and innocents, of any age or gender. Simply horrific and trying to stop as many as possible . First we must examine ORIGIN of the thinking it was/is OK to rape.
So maybe we should now be discussing HOW do we STOP ALL RAPES, thus eliminating the chatter re: how horrendous it is for EVERYONE?
Loretta mostlikely has some ideas on WHY they happen.
- 2 votes
So maybe we should now be discussing HOW do we STOP ALL RAPES, thus eliminating the chatter re: how horrendous it is for EVERYONE?
If you'll allow me, I have a little education on the matter.
Raising public awareness is extremely important; the police can't be relied upon to prevent sexual violence.
Why they happen is a tougher question and honestly the easiest answer is that men are mostly at fault. The over-whelming number of rapes are perpetrated men.
Why men specifically? Aside from the number of rapes, there is an epigenetic tendency toward violence from males. Its observable in nearly every primate (read Jane Goodall's "The Demonic Male")
I'm certain this can be combated though.
More complicated is how society glorifies violence, ignores bullying and expects people to just pretend that social predators don't exist when the evidence of abuse is blatantly obvious.
There is an architecture of aggression.
It starts on the basement level (please excuse my allegory), deep inside, where males feels the desire to be violently sexually aggressive.
Then, the ground floor when the people around them are made to feel comfortable about being sexually aggression (which encourages others to be overly sexually aggressive). If the environment they are in condones other sexually aggressive behaviors, such as sexual harassment, then the actual rape becomes much easier for the perpetrator to be comfortable with.
At the next level, they may be primed for a rape and select a victim. Once here, sometimes, predators groom victims in order to get them to lower their guard. They give them gifts, invite them to do things, say nice things to them, and otherwise pantomime being supportive. They mimic the behavior of a person who generally cares.
Finally, they commit the rape and its already too late to prevent anything.
This is one of the biggest reasons that people cannot rely solely on the police to prevent rape. It's almost impossible to determine a sexual predator without actually observing the person engaging in predatory behavior.
Aside from that, the police might not believe the victim or the circumstances of the attack might make it impossible to successfully prosecute.
The best bet is to identify and eliminate discriminatory environments as soon as they found. The military is a really good place to start. Unless you've served in the military, you may not be aware just what kind of powder-keg of sex-based violence is happening there.
Any place men congregate in large numbers, really. This requires a change in how we educate our young men. Raising awareness among women of sexual violence only puts them on their guard and while it may prevent some assaults from happening, it will not prevent the attitudes that male instigated sex crimes from happening.
After-word: Yes, I realize that some women do commit rapes. The number is so low however, that I think men are a much better place to start.
You don't have to teach a young man not to be a man, you just have to teach them to respect women.
- 2 votes
"You just have to teach them (young men) to respect women."
THIS is where Loretta can explain WHY that is impossible without MAJOR change.
Also want to mention a wonderful book recently published by the former (resigned on his own in 2009) 14 year Catholic Priest. Father Alberto Cutie:
"Dilemma: A Priests Struggle With Faith And Love"
In his book HE states that the entire religion is literally BASED on MISOGNY.
ONE OF THEIR OWN! ALL RELIGIOUS CULTS ARE!
Mandatory reading for all deep thinkers. VERY enlightening.
"We cannot fix anything until we identify and acknowledge the problem."
Dr. Phil
- 2 votes
December 18, 2011 (Five weeks ago to this day)
Associated Press
The HAGUE, Netherlands
-As many as 20,000 (Twenty thousand) children endured sexual abuse at Dutch Catholic institutions over the past 65 years, and church officials FAILED TO ADDRESS IT or HELP THE VICTIMS, according to a long-awaited investigative report released Friday.
Etc., Etc., Etc.
(Just in tiny Holland, folks. Heads up!)
- 3 votes
The danger of assuming this only happens to female victims is that male victims are more likely to slip through the cracks and go unrecognized.
Look at the stats. Most female victims "slip through the cracks and go unrecognized."
http://www.musc.edu/vawprevention/research/sa.shtml
In 1997, there were 96,122 reported forcible rapes. (Federal Bureau of Investigation. (released November 22, 1998). Crime in the United States, Uniform Crime Reports, 1997, p.26. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Justice.)....During the year between interviews, 0.6% of adult women, or an estimated 683,000 women were victims of rape (Kilpatrick et al., 1992). In the two years between the first and third interviews, 1.2% of the adult participants in the NWS were raped. The results: an estimated 1.1 million women were raped in the United States during this two-year period (Kilpatrick, Resnick, Saunders, Best, 1997).
- 3 votes
With all due respect, I never insinuated otherwise.
These things are not mutually exclusive.
- 1 vote
Rape is the lowest form of crime. The rapist, the lowest form of human. Rape can affect you for the rest of your life whether it be male or female.
I don't see that it can be "worse" for one or the other mentally, excluding pregnancy due to the rape. Pregnancy extends to your core emotional and spritual beliefs as most women will terminate the pregnancy and live with the emotional and ending a life mentality forever. Not to mention how it affects you sexually, some women never have a normal sex life again after abortion.
While I'm on this subject, let me just say, I find it very disturbing that people use the term "rape" so loosely in their common conversations. It is very offensive to rape victims to hear someone use the term in context other than a physical act of force perpetuated against someone. There surely is another word than can be used in it's place.
- 1 vote
"Some women never have a normal sex life again after abortion."
ROFL.
(Made my day, thanks!!)
- 5 votes
Most respectfully, if one has to explain it, it's already a lost cause.
Let's just say that some women have been known to actually MARRY the physicians who performed their procedures, and lived very, very, very happily ever after.
Have a nice day.
- 4 votes
That's great for them, but that's not what usually happens to most women, so humor doesn't quite fit the conversation.
- 1 vote
Do I dare ask for some statistics on what "Happens" (whatever that means......) to most women - considering we don't even have any reliable figures since MANY procedures on American women are performed by BRITISH SURGEONS on Harley Street in London?
Nice chatting with you .
I doubt that there are any statistics on how many victims of rape who become pregnant marry the doctor who performs their abortion.
Your levity on the discussion is really quite disheartening with all your ROFL's that you have deleted and our conversation ends here.
Pregnancy extends to your core emotional and spritual beliefs as most women will terminate the pregnancy and live with the emotional and ending a life mentality forever. Not to mention how it affects you sexually, some women never have a normal sex life again after abortion.
This is nonsense. The have done studies on this and most women are NOT emotionally scarred by abortion. And their sex life would be unaffected unless the abortion was botched so badly they had physical damage. More anti-choice propaganda with NO evidence t back it up.
- 6 votes
Many women do not resume a "normal" sex life after being raped, in part because their man rejects them as damaged goods. I don't know what the poster had in mind when she equated that to abortion, but it could be along the same lines.
- 4 votes
"Their man rejects them as damaged goods."
Those women don't have anything worth having.
Actually, they have worse than nothing ; they are in the MINUS zone so better become single fast.
I agree, but they don't know that until after they've been raped and need emotional support more than ever.
- 2 votes
More anti-choice propaganda with NO evidence t back it up.
It amazes me that people think they know somone so well. I am totally PRO CHOICE, a victim of rape, impregnated, ending in abortion. I KNOW what I'm talking about.....can you say the same? Until you've been there, you really need to think instead of speak.
Rape, abortion, either one can damage your sex life, and it's a probablity that it will for at least some time.
- 3 votes
Rape, abortion, either one can damage your sex life, and it's a probablity that it will for at least some time.
Especially if the victim has suffered both.
- 2 votes
I see Madison From Maine has deleted their column. Exactly what I thought.
Doesn't he know he's heterosexual or homosexual? Doesn't he know rape does not define his desires?
Hello Loretta:
I haven't been around in awhile, but it is refreshing to read a seed from a familiar source. I read this article because I have a young relative who recently went to prison and I am concerned for his safety. I found the article put a brighter light on this rarely communicated topic. I found this question in a post of yours and wanted to respond. Yes, rape victims are fully aware that this does not define their desire, however it is the stigmatism associated with the knowledge that he has been overpowered. This is not suppose to happen to men and when it does, it makes them feel and define themselves as weak. Failing to understand that being a man requires more than having a body part. Using sexuality only to define yourself as a man derails their thought process when they are victims of rape. This is only my opinion and I welcome other opinions.
- 2 votes
#7 - Sun Jan 29, 2012 5:18 PM ESThowever it is the stigmatism associated with the knowledge that he has been overpowered. This is not suppose to happen to men and when it does, it makes them feel and define themselves as weak.
You mean like the same knowledge women live with from the day they're born? That they are thought of as weak because men overpower and rape them? Because men have set society up with special limitations on everything women do -- because men claim women are too weak to handle the rough stuff?
If the misogyny in our society didn't define rape victims as weak, then no rape victim would think they were weak because they are raped. Not men. Not women.
In reality, the weak person is the rapist. There need to brutalize someone else is an expression of their physchological weakness. But society doesn't define brutality and cruelty as weakness. Patriarchy defines brutality and cruelty as strength. That means the victims have to be identified as weak. There is no other correlation that would work.
Why does patriarchy define brutality and cruelty as strength? Because it cannot exist without oppressing half the population -- women. Oppression requires brutality and cruelty. But the habit of oppression doesn't stop there. It goes on to create layers of oppression for men too: race, nationality, economic status, etc.
Rape has a purpose: to define who is the oppressor and who is the oppressed. The most oppressed are women, thus they are the rape victim of choice. But when the oppression doesn't stop at women, then men get raped too.
If men want to avoid being raped, they need to give up their patriarchal privileges. I don't see that happening anytime soon because most men think the trade off of dominance/power over vs risk is worth the chance.
- 5 votes
ALL RAPE IS HORRIFIC and it all stems from MANS SELF-CREATED MALE PATRIARCHAL/MISOGNYNISTIC RELIGIOUS CULTS!
20,000 CHILDREN JUST DISCOVERED RAPED BY CATHOLIC CULT in tiny Holland alone.
Mind boggling. (Comment 5.10)
Nothing to to say.
- 2 votes
#8 - Sun Jan 29, 2012 6:31 PM ESTALL RAPE IS HORRIFIC and it all stems from MANS SELF-CREATED MALE PATRIARCHAL/MISOGNYNISTIC RELIGIOUS CULTS!
So atheists are incapable of rape?
But I totally agree that rape is horrific, especially when your own brother and next-door neighbor do it to you when you're 7 years old. Further deponent sayeth not.
- 1 vote
Too true. Rape is considered a man's right in the Bible and permeates all the religions that follow that text. Mary Daly had a great quote about men's religions. I forget where I put it. I've got to leave for a while. I look for it when I get back, unless someone else finds it first.
- 2 votes
"Laugh out loud at their pompous, penile processions!"
The late Professor/Theologian Mary Daly of Boston College
- 2 votes
Had an adorable little boy say to me once re: religion:
"Nope. Too much incense and no common sense."
(And a little child shall lead them.............)
- 4 votes
I think discussing who has it worse after being raped is kind of pointless, it is a horrible, despicable crime regardless of the gender of the victim or the perpetrator.
But I must say, having looked at the New York Times article, I think this article is focusing on the wrong thing. The NYT article was not focusing on who had it worse post rape, it was trying to promote awareness that men can be raped, something that not everyone even realizes, both by other men or by women. Rape for women is horrible, and in my opinion is one of the worst crimes one can commit, but at least it is known to happen. Many people out there don't even realize that men can be raped, and the article makes some good points in trying to promote awareness of that fact.
People who are harping on what they perceive as a "rape is worse for men than women" argument are entirely missing the point. No rape is inherently better or worse than another, it is all subjective. The point is, we need to be aware of all types of rape in order to combat it, and to make people feel safe to admit that it has happened to them.
- 4 votes
#9 - Mon Jan 30, 2012 10:22 AM ESTYou're not the first to post that men just aren't aware they can be raped. I have a hard time believing that. Sure, they don't live with it day in and day out, being eternally cautious the way women are forced to live, but how can they not know they can be raped?
It's discussed on TV, in the media and in books. Several people posting here have said it is often laughed at. While that is wrong, it does indicate men know about it. The fear of being raped is a primary component in homophobia. I've heard the teenage boys that hang around my home discussing it, so I just cannot imagine men not knowing about male rape is a widespread phenomenon.
Now, if you said they don't think it will happen to them, that would be easier to believe, but being entirely igorant of the fact it occurs doesn't seem like reality.
- 2 votes
The fear of being raped is a primary component in homophobia.
This statement ignores one of the things the original argument mentions: not all rapes are committed by men. Think about the difference in reaction when you hear that a male teacher has had sex with an underaged student as opposed to a female teacher having sex with a male student. The reaction in the former case is usually "Oh that poor girl" "What a horrible person" "Hang him!". And rightly so, this is a horrible crime that can not be condoned. But in the latter case, the reaction seems to be "Lucky bastard" "What is he complaining about?" "I wish my teachers had been like that". Many people assume that a woman can not rape a man, or even that a man should be grateful and happy is she does.
Also, knowing something exists and being aware of it are two different things. Most men know that they can be raped, but aren't really aware of it, they think it is so uncommon that it could never happen. So yes, perhaps I could have phrased that better, I apologize for the confusion.
- 3 votes
No, it doesn't ignore teachers raping children, of either sex. Homphobia has no relation to that at all. Stating a component of homophobia is the fear of rape says nothing whatsoever about female rapists. I'm not sure how you made the leap.
Glad we agree men do know about male on male rape, even if they don't believe it could happen to them. Some women believe that too: it can't happen to them. That's one reason why they blame the victim for doing something/going somewhere/wearing something that "caused" them to get raped. By pretending the victim "caused" the rape, they can pretend it'll never happen to them because they'd never do whatever the victim did just before she was raped.
We all tend to do that in most crime and accident categories. Just because we know about car jacking, robbery, auto accidents, etc doesn't mean we believe it is going to happen to us. It's probably a defense mechanism that allows us to keep functioning in our society. If we all sat around worrying about what could happen, we'd never leave our bedrooms.
Women rape is one of the few exceptions to that. Women are told all the time to be afraid, be very, very afraid. It's a primary way patriarchy insures women voluntarily give up full freedom and participation in the public domain.
Men aren't taught that because men are the sex that is supposed to enjoy full freedom, participation and power under patriarchy. So it isn't that male rape doesn't happen or that men are unaware of it. It's that society doesn't hector them into being aware of it all day, every day and society doesn't tell them to severely alter their life choices because they could be raped if they don't.
- 3 votes
Stating a component of homophobia is the fear of rape says nothing whatsoever about female rapists.
Um yes, that's exactly what I was trying to say. That stating the fact that rape is a component of homophobia ignores (i.e. does not mention) women raping men. My point is that the article is trying to get more attention to males being raped, since it is something one often doesn't hear about. And I think that promoting awareness about this sort of thing is a good thing.
That's one reason why they blame the victim for doing something/going somewhere/wearing something that "caused" them to get raped.
Blaming the victim will always be wrong. I don't care if a woman or man walks into work stark naked, if you rape them, it's still rape. Glad we seem to be in agreement on that.
Some women believe that too: it can't happen to them.
Very true, though a quick look at the statistics of how many women are sexually assaulted during their lives can quickly resolve that. Most women know to be cautious because they know how common such things are, and they are indeed shockingly common. Men don't have that same instinct at times. I'm not claiming that men are somehow worse off when it comes to rape, just less informed.
- 2 votes
#10 - Mon Jan 30, 2012 11:48 AM ESTThey're definitely not as likely to focus on being raped. Nor does our society focus on making them aware of the possibility of being raped like it does with women. I used to get at least one chain email a week about all the things I should avoid doing because if I did them, I would probably be raped. I can't imagine anyone sending even one email like that to men.
I don't get them very often anymore because I took to replying with my an email titled "how to avoid being a rapist." Some people were shocked that I would send that out. Well, why not? Women are not the problem. Rapists are. And yet, the idea women must give up their freedom is so ingrained, these people could not imagine why I would place the blame and responsibility on rapists.
Our society believes living in fear is the normal thing to force on women. They don't believe that about men. That's the difference.
- 2 votes
And yet, the idea women must give up their freedom is so ingrained, these people could not imagine why I would place the blame and responsibility on rapists.
Well, I'm all for trying to prevent rapists from becoming rapists in the first place. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and all that. and I agree, trying to teach women to behave in a certain way in order to avoid being raped seems a bit backwards, unless they are common sense things like don't go down dark alleys alone at night, which is fairly good advice for anyone, man or woman. Preventing rapists from becoming rapists is a bit harder though, as we have yet to isolate what exactly leads to such things. I for one believe the media, and especially the porn industry is partly responsible for people becoming rapists, since a sickening amount of porn shows women enjoying being raped.
Our society believes living in fear is the normal thing to force on women.
Thankfully not all of our society believes this. But you are right, no one should have to live in fear. There is nothing wrong with encouraging people to be cautious, but it shouldn't be phrased as if failing to do so will inevitably lead to rape or other forms of harm. People should be able to do whatever they want without fear of rape, but until that becomes a reality, a bit of caution doesn't hurt. But I agree, the blame lies with the rapist, not the victim.
- 3 votes
It appears that rape may in part be the cycle of of abused child becoming an abuser (I hate simplistic psychology). But I want to note this because we cry every time a child is reported as abused and want to hang those responsible. At the same time we do not take care to see that the victims of child sexual and other abuses get the mental health and other care they may require. We cry, forget the matter - until the victim becomes the perpetrator, and we want to hang him or her.
- 2 votes
It appears that rape may in part be the cycle of of abused child becoming an abuser (I hate simplistic psychology). But I want to note this because we cry every time a child is reported as abused and want to hang those responsible. At the same time we do not take care to see that the victims of child sexual and other abuses get the mental health and other care they may require. We cry, forget the matter - until the victim becomes the perpetrator, and we want to hang him or her.
Masterfully said samenslow. How does the old saying go? "Hurt people hurt people." Many rapists were victims of abuse themselves. Simply blaming them for what they do doesn't fix the underlying problem. Throwing a rapist in jail is important, but it only treats the symptoms, not the overall cause. Again, well said.
- 3 votes
Three great posts. Yes, we need to learn more about rapists so we can help those who feel the need to rape. Like most things psychological, it's complicated.
There are six types of rapists. Of course, it will be difficult for the victim to sort out which type is raping her, but if she can, she has a better chance of surviving. Because they each behave different, the underlying psychological problem is probably different.
http://www.hopeforhealing.org/types.html
The Power Assertive rapist is the type who will claim to have a weapon but will only use it to ensure the victim's cooperation. With 44% of all rapes falling under this category it is the most common of all forms of rape.
Anger retaliation is different because the perpetrator is actually out to punish women. Often carrying hate towards women this type of perpetrator will often substantially injure victims to the point where they require medical intervention or hospitalization. Roughly 30% of rapes fall into this category.
The Power reassurance or Opportunity rapist is one who takes advantage of an opportunity to commit a rape. This is done in conjunction with another crime such as burglary, robbery or kidnapping.
By far the most dangerous type of rapist is the Anger excitement rapist. This perpetrator wants his victim to be hurt. Often victims are killed. Fortunately, only 5% of all rapists fall into this category. However, almost all murder/rapes take place at the hands of these criminals.
Juvenile Offenders have problems with authority such as school, police, etc. They seek to take anger out or punish the victims. Sadly, this crime seems to be on the rise.
Although rare, women can be perpetrators as well. They can also be accomplices to luring other unsuspecting victims into traps to be raped by others.
Date rapes, can occur in all categories making it the number one type of rape. However, this article focused on the type of rapist committing this horrible crime.
- 2 votes
You people are too funny. Although I feel an uncontrollable urge to make a contributable comment on this discussion. I won't.
I prefer to watch the debate train keep chugging along.
#11 - Tue Jan 31, 2012 10:05 AM ESTRape is Rape no matter the gender, the amount of damage it does varies from person to person - never-the-less it harms whoever that's been intruded upon. Whoever has it worse has no meaning to me. The very act itself is a crime against humanity.
- 3 votes
#13 - Mon Feb 6, 2012 10:54 AM ESTYou're in Easy Mode. If you prefer, you can use XHTML Mode instead. |
